Being scared to death

January 1970
I don't remember much from tonight 52 years ago.  It was my audition as a conductor with the American Symphony Orchestra League and this was  one of the two piece that were my "try out".

I was scared.

This was NY.  This was an orchestra that performed all its concerts in Carnegie Hall. Sibelius/'s 2nd symphony is a tough go.  I had it memorized...every part...every every...well you get it

I didn't win but I placed.  I won't say that I was better than all others save one.  I wasn't.  I was afraid as the next guy. I went away feeling strong and in control...that was win enough.  Sometimes 2nd place doesn't stink.  Most of the time it does. Not that night 52 years ago.  

The music was from heaven.  Give a listen.