° The exchange between Churchill and Lady Astor: She said, "If you were my husband I'd give you poison." He said, "If you were my wife, I'd drink it."
° A member of Parliament to Disraeli: "Sir, you will either die on the gallows or of some unspeakable disease." "That depends, Sir," said Disraeli, "whether I embrace your policies or your mistress."
° "He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire." - Winston Churchill
"I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure." -Clarence Darrow
° "He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary." - William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway).
° "Thank you for sending me a copy of your book; I'll waste no time reading it." - Moses Hadas
° "I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying Iapproved of it." - Mark Twain
° "He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends..." - Oscar Wilde
° "I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play; bring a friend.... if you have one." - George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill. "Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second... if there is one." - Winston Churchill, in response.
° "I feel so miserable without you; it's almost like having you here." - Stephen Bishop
° "He is a self-made man and worships his creator." - John Bright
"I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing trivial." - Irvin S. Cobb
° "He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up." – Paul Keating
° "In order to avoid being called a flirt, she always yielded easily."- Charles, Count Talleyrand
° "He loves nature in spite of what it did to him." - Forrest Tucker
° "Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it?" - Mark Twain
° "His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork." - Mae West
° "Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go." - Oscar Wilde
° "He uses statistics as a drunken man uses lamp-posts... for support rather than illumination" - Andrew Lang
° "He has Van Gogh's ear for music." - Billy Wilder
° "I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it." - Groucho Marx